Many internet daters are apprehensive about making that move from the comforts of online chat to an actual face-to-face encounter with their internet love connection.  With all of the horror stories floating around concerning fake profile photos, dating scams and other criminally unsavory behaviors, it can be more than a challenge to gather up the courage to meet a person of interest offline.  Since you can never be too sure that someone’s profile is truthful about their image, profession, age, gender or even nationality, it is really in your best interest to arrange a fact-finding initial meeting prior to an actual date.  Thus we have the coffee date.

A coffee date is not really a date at all.  It is a simple, inexpensive, non-threatening meet-and-greet.  Coffee dates should be scheduled in the daytime at a safe, public location such as a coffeehouse.  It is best to schedule the coffee date between regular meal times (i.e. an hour after breakfast or two hours prior to dinner).  This first meeting should last no more than twenty to thirty minutes.  This is enough time to assess whether that gorgeous profile photo is a match for the real-life version.  You can also determine if there is enough chemistry between the two of you to pursue the option of a real date.  Most people will know if there is a physical attraction within the first five minutes.

The coffee meet-and-greet is a casual affair so dress accordingly.  Keep the formal attire at home but dress nice enough to make a good first impression.  You may even want to prepare for your meeting by having a list of questions ready to ask your online love prospect.  There is no need to rehearse your lines but it can help to have a good idea of some specific items you genuinely want to learn about your potential mate.  It can also be helpful to pay attention to that week’s current events so you can be properly armed to actively participate in a good conversation.  Make sure that you stray from heavy, negative topics.  You want to keep the conversation as light as possible but keep in mind that the purpose of this meeting is to find out who you are.  Remember to stay relaxed and feel free to be yourself.  This is a getting-to-know-you engagement so don’t take the person out of your personality.

Try to keep the coffee date from going longer than thirty minutes as any longer could invite boredom.  You want to create an atmosphere conducive to a love connection, not a friendship.  To make the coffee meet more interesting, select a location that provides extra amenities.  Many coffeehouses now offer live music, a DJ, comedy shows or poetry slams.  Some also include light menu items, pool tables, darts and other traditional “bar” games.  Even if there is an additional entertainment element to the coffeehouse, do not go there with this as your aim.  The idea of a coffee meet is just that, to have coffee.  Should the two of you decide that you are hitting it off; the coffee meet could turn into a real date without the need to move to a second location.  For this reason, arrange the coffee meet to occur at least forty minutes prior to any scheduled show time.  That way if sparks aren’t flying, you aren’t locked into a commitment to stay.  You can simply bail at the half hour mark.

If you don’t like coffee, most coffeehouses do offer many other beverage and snack items such as tea, sandwiches and soda pop.  Another alternative to the coffee date is going for ice cream, an excellent idea during the warmer months.  You might also decide to grab something to-go and simply take a leisurely walk through a scenic neighborhood.  The point is to stay away from full-course meal offerings that involve longer time commitments.  You want to avoid the pressures of being on a formal date so pick a location or an activity that is best suited to both of your interests.  Hopefully your efforts to move from LOL to latte will eventually send you from latte to love.

About the Author:

Niquenya D. Fulbright is a certified Christian executive life coach, management consultant, mediator, corporate trainer and motivational speaker specializing in inspiring small business owners, entrepreneurs, executives, groups and individuals in a career or life transition to use their innate abilities to master their goals and achieve successes beyond their wildest dreams. http://www.niquenyafulbright.com