Mood:  hungry

Awesome coaches have a heightened sense of awareness, not only of others but also themselves. Since coaching is a process highly dependent on the coach's ability to remain a neutral, unbiased and nonjudgmental partner toward the client's success; it is critical that the coach is aware of his/her own agenda so it can be set aside in favor of that of the client's.

Self-awareness can be defined as a conscious acknowledgement of who one is, what roles one plays and what direction one plans to move in. This consciousness is extended across every area of one's life. Awesome coaches must examine their morals, ethics, values and belief system. An awesome coach can identify what is important to his/her happiness and work diligently to attain those things. Awesome coaches can also spot potential conflicts, obstacles and barriers and take a proactive approach in their response.

Self-awareness begins with asking oneself powerful questions. It is like performing a SWOT (strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, threats) analysis on yourself. These questions may include:

• What roles do I play (mother, father, wife, employee, child)?
• Do I like what I do for a living?
• Do I feel as if I am being utilized to my full potential?
• Am I doing THIS because I believe I can't do what I really want?
• What's stopping me from achieving more?
• Am I realistic about my professional goals?
• What unique talents or skills do I possess?
• Do I have an adequate support system?
• Could I do more to increase my circle of influence?
• Is there a piece missing for me socially?
• Do I associate with positive people or do I gravitate toward negative naysayers?
• Am I happy after everyone goes home?
• Am I lonely?
• Am I a GOOD friend to others? to myself?
• Am I close to my family?
• Am I satisfied with the men/women I date?
• Am I meeting the kind of person I would like to connect with?
• Do I exhibit attitudes or behaviors that prevent me from meeting and dating appropriate people?
• Do others see me the way that I see myself?
• Do I really want to be in a committed relationship?
• How would I feel if I never met "the right one"?
• Do I believe in God or a higher power?
• Is my spirituality an important aspect of my life?
• Do I believe that my potential mate must share my beliefs in this area?
• Would I have a problem if we were "unequally yoked"?
• Do I earn a sustainable income?
• Do I manage my money well?
• Am I able to satisfy my basic needs/wants?
• How important to my happiness is money?
• Will the earning power of my potential mate be important in my decision about who that person will be?
• Are my values and beliefs based on what others may think of me or are they really my own?
• Am I harboring any latent fears that should be resolved before I can move forward?

You can always add more questions that you feel are relevant but the key here is to be completely honest with yourself.  Ask those hard questions so you can begin the journey to complete self-awareness. You will not be able to fully give of yourself in a coaching relationship until this step is complete.

© 2008 by Niquenya D. Fulbright, Executive Life Coach - All Rights Reserved You have permission to publish this article electronically or in print, free of charge, as long as these bylines are included.